The other day I was thinking about how I can't actually produce
anything worth anything. I mostly am a service provider. I don't have anything I could make and sell on ebay and it's depressing. So I felt it my duty to try to get my friend Ben, the menacing artist of darkness, to let me sell his stuff on ebay. He found one thing I could sell. A bronze thing he calls "lawn art." (I told him he should probably name it something more pretentious so now it's called something-or-other #3
, I think.) But everything else he looks at for awhile and then no. It needs touching up. I want it. No. Hmmm.
I told him he should not be so selfish and should share his art with the world. let the people of the world support him. but he just thinks of stuff he can't let me sell on ebay. I almost got a cool skull painting but he looked at it too long and changed his mind. I said, hello? How are you going to afford dominoes to play with in jail. Imagine how good you will smell if you can afford Irish Spring while everyone else has to use Ivory? By the time you get out, you'll be famous. You'll be Ben, also known as ebay item no. 3495804593. Man he smells good. Fresh. Is that a hint of baby oil? But then I realized that he obviously is
appreciating his talent. There's stuff all over. And he won't let me sell anything. I'll always say he should be a musician or a scuptor. It's just a hobby though, like everything else. He makes me jealous when he plays the piano. I will write him a couple letters promoting the marketability of his art for him to ponder while he's in jail. Tomorrow I am going to stop by and see if he really did paint something tonight "for the people [of ebay]".
Look at this. Ew! Ew! What is it? Ew! He had this plastic container with weird things floating in it. This thing I found. It's some kind of animal, look. What is it?
I don't know. I dug it up. It looks like an animal no one has ever seen before.
Oh my god! ew! Stop touching it! No! No!
There were sick nasty froggish birdish legs. A head like a dinosaur bird gargoyle. Weird things floating around. Freaky looking soggy grayish slimy looking things. It looked ever so disgusting. It looked like an animal no one has ever seen before. Something the rest of the class had to dissect while I puked - except more evil.
Keep that fucking thing away from me!
Look at it's head.
and while you're at it, let me sell it on ebay...
No. Well, sell it to some kind of ologist then. No, then they will try to take it away from me. Well, yes, that's why you take their money. Dominoes, ben. Dominoes.
Damnit. Why do I always fall for that shit. Why don't you finish putting it together and let me sell it on ebay?
Look at its head.
What did you make it with? Wax.
Ick. That is so cool.
It didn't feel slimy like it looked.